Wednesday, September 3, 2008

TWAT!!

Little Steed


Are all bus drivers the world over complete and utter dickheads? Or is it just in this town? That goes for cab drivers too. When I'm on my speedy Little Steed I try and obey ALL the laws of the road. I wait at lights, I don't speed down the pavement, I let cars through when they want to get past, I even wait at a pedestrian crossing when I could weave my way through people. So why is it that as soon as I set off I seem to run into every conceivable moron on the road? Yesterday I had a stand up argument with a van driver that ACTUALLY ran me off the road because he was reading a magazine whilst driving. And today I let a car out of a junction, and the bus driver behind me gave me the "wanker" sign. God only knows why. Needless to say he got a severe verbal volley (which even I was proud of) as I went past.

Yes, some cyclists can be utter dicks. And given the chance, I'll pull people up on jumping lights when I fly past them. But if someone is blatantly obeying the rules of the road, why antagonise them? At the end of the day, you're driving something that weighs several tons and can quite easily kill me without you breaking a sweat. The last person that cut me up lost their wing mirror after I caught up with them, accompanied by a "V" sign.

If this kind of childish behaviour carries on, and because I can't run YOU over, then I'll just have to stoop to your level and cycle REALLY SLOWLY down the middle of the road so you can't get past until I'M ready to let you go. Or, I'll just have to carry my door key in my hand so that it can "accidentally" rub the length of your flash motor. Or if you're a bus driver, I might just get on the bus and fart in your little hidey hole.

6 comments:

arbyn said...

Ahahahaha little hidey hole.

Ahahahhaha. Please, please do that.

All Mod Cons said...

Robyn - If I do, you'll be the first person I tell. In fact, I'll even video it for you and put it on YouTube. Along with the jumping fish ;)

Crashdummie said...

Bet they are all jealous of your white steed.

Princess Pointful said...

Reading a magazine while driving?!
And I thought those people who read while walking were dolts.

arbyn said...

I await the video with anticipation.

Aunt Reeny's After Thoughts said...

Re; Paul Weller set list. I may actually be able to get my hands on it as my Uncle works for the park that VFest is being held at and will have all access. Lemme see about it - no promises. While I am at it, check out my brand spankin new blog! Cheers.