Tuesday, April 28, 2009

Cockroaches And Swine Flu In London

Times are tough. No real success with our advert for the room in our place. The market seems inundated with places and we've had 5 cancellations in a row. So as a household we decided to rewrite the advert, give it a little twist. After much chin wagging, I put finger to keyboard and with a little touch from the Viking, came up with this...

"We have a double room available in our semi-detached Victorian house in a quiet area of _________.

The room is currently immediately available due to recent redecoration and certain events beyond our control. Our previous housemate was viciously attacked by our house mouse and then spontaneously exploded, leaving behind a faint smell of tequila and smoking Nike trainers. We all thought the mouse had some kind of rabies, but after we caught the little blighter and sent it off to a swish London lab it turns out that it was actually swine flu.

Consequently we've had to have the place fumigated. Now that the dust has settled we've purchased a new house mouse but have been assured that it is entirely flu free and had not landed in Mexico in 1986 contrary to the recent background check we had done. Although he has been spotted talking, rather fluently, to the cockroaches whilst wearing an over sized sombrero.

He may be dealing with bugs okay, but he doesn't pay bills so we have to pay that on top of rent. Still, they are quite low since we tapped into the lamp post. The furniture in the room (bed, wardrobe, drawers) all cleaned up nicely so that stayed. The carpet is new. We just couldn't get the stains out of the old one.

We figured that the last one had a small but energetic aversion to men and would like to avoid any future potential mishaps by getting a female to move in. Although, if you're male and willing to take a chance, by all means give it a go.

Viewings available any evening, but please do not cancel at the last minute unless you are hanging by your ears from the hair of an elephants bottom whilst singing "God save the Queen" to Prince Philip."

Wonder if this brings any success?

4 comments:

arbyn said...

er...

yeah...

full marks for creativity!

Aunt Reeny's After Thoughts said...

Totally, you should have no problem now. Good stuff fellas...

Please Don't Eat With Your Mouth Open said...

Sold! I used to watch Countdown with the House Mouse in our old student house.

All Mod Cons said...

Robyn - Cheers luv!

Reeny - It's not working. Absolutely no takers on that advert at all. Has everyone lost their sense of humour!?

PDEWYMO - You want to have a look around!? Fed up with showing people around...another 3 tonight. *groan* (I need to find a decent abbreviation to your ID too!)