Sunday, October 11, 2009

Fistful Of Wool*

Taking a full load of socks and boxers to the washing machine is quite possibly one of the most complicated tasks known to man. Pun? Quite probably.

Separating colours from whites? No problem at all. Picking up all the socks and boxers in one go? Not a chance in hell. It's like trying to hold sand. The more I pick up from the floor, the more I drop. After several minutes of pick-up-sockerobics, everything is finely balanced and going well right up until that movement thing. Even turning on the spot is a challenge. I can see the pile shifting as I rotate slowly, resisting the urge to use my chin as a third hand (c'mon, old socks on my face? Yeah, right). The sense of inevitability oozes through me like treacle through a sieve. I'm going to lose another item...

...yep, there it goes...

Now I'm facing the right way, I'm left with an agonising decision to make. Do I attempt to pick up the fallen laundry and risk another dose of socksercise? Or go for the sock-foot-flick manoeuvre all the way down the stairs, through the hall and into the kitchen? This obviously carries more risk than the first option, but the sense of achievement following success is infinitely higher.

Opting for the pick up, I manage to hold on to everything. Although I do have to succumb to chinsock otherwise I'd have been there all afternoon. Even the walk to the kitchen isn't a...erm...walk in the park *ahem*. It's got to be done backwards. The walk that is. Otherwise you run the risk of missing a dropped sock after the machine is on. And I really hate having to wash just one sock so that I've got the pair.

I suppose this could all be changed by simply taking the wash basket, full of clothes, to the machine. Which would've saved me time. And made this a really short post. And quite staggeringly boring.

Mind you, I have just written about carrying socks.

Yeah, time to get out.

*Rage Against The Machine...get it?? That's bleedin' clever that is!

10 comments:

Princess of the Universe said...

This may be the most randonmly hilarious post I've read in...forever..
xo

All Mod Cons said...

Universal - Why thank you! :D X

Beth said...

Well, thank god you didn’t use the wash basket – I would have missed out on that lovely chinsock (chinboxer!) visual.
And, yes, you’re bleedin’ clever – and a walking musical encyclopedia. I’m not. Had to Google it.

Lady Wise said...

Wow. Glad to know that my 22 year old boyfriend will never be any the wiser when it comes to laundry day!

And there was me thinking he might grow up one day and buy a nice laundry basket instead of chucking his smalls into a plastic box under his desk until they stick to it and he has to peel them off to wash them.

Boys will be boys!

More Of The Good Stuff said...

Just so you know, I've had the words "chinsock" and "sockerobics" on replay in my head for the past 24 hours. Hilarious.....

All Mod Cons said...

Beth - Had considered the boxerchin, didn't have the same ring to it (get it!?).

Lady Wise - Welcome, thanks for stopping by. Also, small mistake there...assuming that any man will actually grow up. Just ain't gunna happen!

Good Stuff - Maybe it'll be a new trend! And thank you :D

Beth said...

Yes, I get it!! This time.
And, hey, it's not like you always get it.
And I'm referring to jokes. ;)

Reeny's Ramblin' said...

It takes a talented individual to make a story about trying to carry socks so very gripping ;)

Why is it that when I do laundry I am always short one sock? I blame it on the sock monster. They do like warm places you know....

Ultra Toast Mosha God said...

Develop some kind of cannon that fires the clothes from the bin to the machine.

All Mod Cons said...

Reeny - Cheers luv ;-) You know, the Viking said exactly the same thing! I don't tend to have a problem losing socks, but they do seem to all end up being for my right foot. Bizarre.

Toast - That's certainly one option!