Monday, November 30, 2009

And Inhale...

Standing on the tube the other day, coming home from work, when a young lady gets on at one of the stops. She leans against the inside of the train, shuffling from one foot to the other. She's not unattractive but there is something odd about the way she's behaving. I can't quite put my finger on it. So a curious extra glance is needed...

She pulls on her collar, moves her head towards her shoulder and takes a breath in through her nose. I instantly recognise the manoeuvre. It's the "Is is me that smells a little funny?" check that we've probably all done at some point. There's nothing worse than ponging in public.

My sympathy goes out to her as she double checks. I think, if it is her then I hope she hasn't got far to go and that she isn't meeting anyone important. If it's not her, then it's probably just the normal day to day squalid stench of London's Underground network.

But my sympathies turn to confusion. Her hand disappears inside her top, her digits having a good rummage around her pit. I try not to stare, but the Curiosity Creature has a firm hold on my eyeballs. I hope my efforts at nonchalance don't attract her attention because I really want to know where this is going. Confusion turns to mild shock as she withdraws her hand and places it under her nose...and there's the inhale. She drops her hand by her side.

Did she just sniff her fingers, I think to myself? Surely not?

My confusion and mild shock are replaced with a gargantuan effort to stifle the biggest laugh known to man when she double, then treble checks her pinkies for any evidence of pong with ever increasing lungfuls of air.

I exit at the next stop, grateful that she didn't have an itchy butt crack.

Thursday, November 26, 2009

Bohemian Rhapsody - The Muppets

Genius.

The line for me is "I see a silhouetteo of a clam..."



Another very delayed new Song of the Week. This time round it's Missing Andy and Subway. Saw them last week with Ted at the Dublin Castle in Camden. They provided the nights highlight with a great performance. Please double click the video to see their Youtube channel. I'd hyperlink it but it doesn't seem to be working at the moment.

Friday, November 13, 2009

Listen Up

This song is peaches and cream and kicks off my weekend. The weekend where I work both Saturday and Sunday. Which is breasticles.


And here are the lyrics...

Listen up
What's the time said today
I'm gonna speak my mind
Take me up to the top of the world
I wanna see my crime

Day by day
There's a man in a suit
Who's gonna make you pay
For the thoughts that you think and the words
They won't let you say

One fine day
I'm gonna leave you all behind
It wouldn't be so bad
If I had more time

But I've been sailing down this river alone
And I'm still trying to find my way back home
But I don't believe in magic
Life is automatic
But I don't mind being on my own
Said that I don't mind being on my own

Listen up
What's the time said today
I'm gonna speak my mind
Take me up to the top of the world
I wanna see my crime

Day by day
There's a man in a suit
Who's gonna make you pay
For the thoughts that you think and the words
They won't let you say

One fine day
We're gonna leave it all behind
It wouldn't be so bad
If we had more time

I've been sailing down this river alone
But I'm still trying to find my way back home
And I don't believe in magic
Life is automatic
But I don't mind being on my own
Said that I don't mind being on my own
No, I don't mind being on my own
I said I don't mind being on my own

Sunday, November 8, 2009

A Chance To Remember


Today I went to Whitehall, along with several thousand others, to pay tribute to those servicemen that have given their lives in wars past and present. Wreaths of Poppy's are placed at the foot of the Cenotaph by the Royal Family and other prominent figures to honour "The Glorious Dead".

I went with CF, passing through metal detectors and searches, guarded by Armed Police, and watched over by black clad figures on the roof tops with guns. A sign of our times and an irony, considering the event, that wasn't lost on me. We joined the masses of people that had taken just a few hours out of their day to remember. To remember those that had made the ultimate sacrifice. War is never good, or glorious in my eyes, but men and women of all ages, colours and creeds gave up more than most of us will ever do to protect the ones they loved. And to save all of those that they would never meet or know. They fought and died for our freedom and deserve our respect and remembrance.

Wednesday will be the 11th of November, don't forget to pay your respects at 11am.

Never forget to Remember.

Oooh,,,

Yeah, new presents for me.


I've been trying to find some white Adidas Country trainers, navy stripes & gum sole in a UK size 12 for ages without any success whatsoever. If anyone out there knows where I can get some feel free to drop me a line. Ta.