Monday, November 30, 2009

And Inhale...

Standing on the tube the other day, coming home from work, when a young lady gets on at one of the stops. She leans against the inside of the train, shuffling from one foot to the other. She's not unattractive but there is something odd about the way she's behaving. I can't quite put my finger on it. So a curious extra glance is needed...

She pulls on her collar, moves her head towards her shoulder and takes a breath in through her nose. I instantly recognise the manoeuvre. It's the "Is is me that smells a little funny?" check that we've probably all done at some point. There's nothing worse than ponging in public.

My sympathy goes out to her as she double checks. I think, if it is her then I hope she hasn't got far to go and that she isn't meeting anyone important. If it's not her, then it's probably just the normal day to day squalid stench of London's Underground network.

But my sympathies turn to confusion. Her hand disappears inside her top, her digits having a good rummage around her pit. I try not to stare, but the Curiosity Creature has a firm hold on my eyeballs. I hope my efforts at nonchalance don't attract her attention because I really want to know where this is going. Confusion turns to mild shock as she withdraws her hand and places it under her nose...and there's the inhale. She drops her hand by her side.

Did she just sniff her fingers, I think to myself? Surely not?

My confusion and mild shock are replaced with a gargantuan effort to stifle the biggest laugh known to man when she double, then treble checks her pinkies for any evidence of pong with ever increasing lungfuls of air.

I exit at the next stop, grateful that she didn't have an itchy butt crack.

7 comments:

Reeny's Ramblin' said...

Hahahahha! Awesome. It's always awesome when someone sniffs their fingers in public. At least she didn't pick her nose and eat it, I've seen that on the subway over here. Not to mention once a man came on the same car as me and completely changed his outfit, cracked open a beer and rolled a spliff all in about a 10 min ride!

All Mod Cons said...

Reeny - Sorry what?! Someone CAME on the same car as you?! That definitely beats sniffing pits!!

Sorry...couldn't resist that one. 10 minutes? What was he doing, sightseeing? ;-)

Re public nose picking & eating...click here http://www.allmodcons.org/2008/04/as-following-article-reveals-recent.html

arbyn said...

eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeew that's SO gross!!!

Reeny's Ramblin' said...

Ew.

All Mod Cons said...

Robyn - Exactly

Reeny - Isn't it

Beth said...

Great observational skills – good thing your sense of smell isn’t as keen.
How very disgusting.

(pong – another new word…)

Tannis said...

this was a delightful read!