Tuesday, August 26, 2008

Kiss My White Hairy Ass

Yet another unplanned, not properly thought through post from yours truly. And probably with a distinct lack of editing.

This one consists of...erm...some stuff. About chicks. Which is a subject that I've pretty much avoided for my entire blog existence, apart from once. I generally feel that personal relationships are not a topic worthy of discussion on my bit of cyberspace. Mostly because I like to keep it to myself, partly because I've been single for a fair while, and also because some stories I could tell would curl your toes.

Anyway, this isn't really about a relationship that I am or am not in. It's more to do with friendships with the "fairer" sex. It's an area that holds a little confusion for me of late. Generally speaking, I have always got on with chicks better than guys. Just one of those things I think. I'm able to spend time in the company of a girl and have a good time, without being attracted to them. Even when I used to drink, I rarely suffered from Beer Goggles. But recently I've been having "issues" with people that I thought were happy being "mates", but have decided that they would like things to progress further.

As far as I know, I've never given them reason to believe that I'm interested in anything else other than friendship. And I'm pretty sure that, in a couple of situations, I've even said so. Clear as day. This is where the whole thing starts to fall apart. It's like they then up and vanish. As if to say "Well, you don't want to be my boyfriend so I'm not going to speak to you anymore". Which, as far as I'm concerned, is a complete waste of a friendship.

I've also encountered a spate of people wanting "no strings fun". Which is fine, when I was 20! I'm REALLY not interested in that anymore. I did it to death when I was younger and, to be honest, didn't like the person that I was becoming. Nice people get hurt, and it's unfair. Considering where I live, it would be fairly easy for anyone to go out in the evening and pick up someone and get laid. And that's really not my bag, cheers all the same.

ALSO...a friend of mine (female) was in a relationship with a fairly large Dick Head of a guy. To any passer by he was a serious catch. Multi-millionaire, good looks, great apartment in the City, absolute charmer. But then all the nasty stuff came out. He treated her like a babysitter, cheated on her with his secretary (oh how cliche), snorted copious amounts of coke (something that really riles me), verbally abused her in front of his "chums" and generally took advantage. After breaking her heart whilst they were on holiday, she came back in a pretty bad state. Shortly after this she found out that he'd given her a dose of the...err...sexual wotsit. You know, short round of applause*. Now, like any good friend, I was there for her to moan to. Even though I didn't really need to hear all the gorey details, I listened. If she asked for advice, I'd give it. If not, I just took in what she was saying.

Now she's feeling much better, which is good. Only, she's kind of started acting really weird towards me. Not in a "I fancy you" type way, but in a...well...I can't really explain it. It's like she's only calling so that she can pass the time on her way to work and because she seems to like the sound of her own voice. And it's really starting to get on my tits. It's almost like I've served my purpose for now and she's only keeping in touch "just in case". As far as I'm concerned, mates is mates. No matter what's happening in your life. You don't keep someone sweet so that you've got a back up if your life takes a wrong turn. That's just using someone, which blows. I'm almost at the point where I feel like saying take a hike. But I won't. Because that's not me. Well, not unless you REALLY piss me off.

AND! Chicks that you're mates with, that then get a boyfriend, and all of a sudden fuck off somewhere. It's like "Hey, I wasn't interested in you in the first place. Now you have a boyfriend, I'm STILL not interested in you!" But why just fuck off?!!? I could understand if there was something going on before hand. Like, if we'd been "intimate" or more, and things didn't work out. Yeah, then I could understand it. But not when NOTHING has happened between the two of you.

Shit, if I ever meet someone and I turned my back on all the female friends I have, then I'd be left with about 4 mates. Ok, slight hyperbole there, but you get the point.

Anyway, I'm not sure that any of that made any sense. But it did to me, in my head. As I was typing it. So that's all that matters I guess.

Other stuff this week...time is getting nearer to the next Weller gig of the year. And I'm getting VERY excited! It's on the 10th of October, in Dublin, with my mate Ted! It's even worthy of a countdown thingy at the side of my blog...which should appear when I can be arsed to find a free one.

Also, tomorrow is Terence's 2nd birthday! Still alive, and being pumped full of steroids (Cactus Feed), and sitting on my window enjoying the view of other people's back gardens. Pointless buying him a balloon, he'll only pop it (sigh, poor joke).

Does anyone actually take any notice of the "Song Of The Week"? This weeks one is Oasis' new song...and I happen to think it's quite good. Give it a listen. I'm also having issues with this whole "burning a CD" shit. Fucking hell, when did technology become so hard to use!? I'll have to ask my 15 year old cousin to help me out. I feel like my old dear when she used to ask me to set the video recorder.

Oh, and I've been asked to do a "Guest Post" for Universal this week. Which I am honoured by. Should be up by Thursday. She's having a wee rest and has asked some very talented bloggers to fill in for a bit. Not sure why I'm on the list, but I've got a post all lined up. Please drop by there and read the other posts!

Another "Oh"...the last post. "Fuzzy Wuzzy was a woman" was a line from See No Evil Hear No Evil. The contents of my pocket is safe. Result!



PG said...

I don't know that I have many insights into female behaviour to offer. From what I can tell, it's pretty common for a woman to start considering more than friendship after spending time with a guy. Propinquity is one of the main components of sexual attraction. Plus not everyone has the same view about the feasibility of platonic friendships between single men and women.

Regarding your friend who dropped off the face of the earth after starting to date a guy - it has happened to me too. I hate when people ditch their friends because they're in a relatioship.

It may not be due to you being a male - it may be that you're not her boyfriend, so she just doesn't have time for you. Seems like an utter lack of foresight to ditch your friends like that.

Beth said...

Confused, huh? If you read over your post, you’ll find you’ve answered some of your own questions. (And have perhaps been misinterpreting signals?)
On a more important note, my cactus (who shall remain nameless) is thriving on massive neglect – no steroids, not even an occasional watering. I can’t kill the sucker.

Anonymous said...

How can you be in Dublin AND Heidelberg at the 10th of October? And -which is much more important ;)- how can Paul Weller be?!

Crashdummie said...

Wow... that is all i can say. Why do we always have to go and make things so complicated. I think you have a fab approach to your friends - I mean whether they are male or female, if friendship is all you are searching for that should be clear.

I hate ppl who are stuck with the "When harry meet sally" theory, that men & women cannot be friends. Just a bummer that ppl have so many hidden agendas. *sigh*

Hey, congrats to Terence. Will we see pics of the b'day cactus?

SMARTBuddy said...

Interesting post for me- Ive recently broken my own rule for the first time and starting seeing a girl who was/is also one of my friends. So far so good. I think its generally a bad idea, but does happen as you (and Psychgrad, above) describe. Youve got to judge each case on its merits though. I think. I hope.

Princess Pointful said...

As much as I always assert that men and women can be just friends, someone's always got to come around and fuck up that assertion, hey?
It is funny, because the Duke's close female friend can't seem to get over the fact that I'm cool with him having a female friend!