Monday, October 20, 2008

Stats And Fings

I must admit, I kind of like this internet thing. It's amazing and scary in equal measure as far as I'm concerned. The amount of information out there, accessible to anyone, is absolutely astounding. You really can find out about anything. All that knowledge at your finger tips, and all you have to do is tap your digits on your keyboard, and up pop about 1,210,000 results in 0.23 of a second.

I already know what I search for, mainly things like gig tickets, new songs on YouTube, the name of the pair of trainers I wanted (Adidas Stockholms, just in case you were interested...decided not to get them though..too blue for the rest of the ensemble), a recipe for Flapjacks or for finding out cheap flights to places.

What fascinates me is how some people come across my blog. I've got 2 little stat counter things telling me all kinds of information about those that stop by, and I've become a little bemused by some of the search terms. Some are quite ordinary, and to be honest quite expected. Others are a little off the wall in my book.

I thought I'd share a few of them, and try and expand on the queries for any future searches that are the same.

1. allmodcons, all mod cons blog, all mod cons weller blog - these 3 search terms mean you have indeed arrived at the right place. Give yourself a gold star!

2. things to do to prepare for parenthood - this most definitely means you are in the wrong place. Parenthood advice would be considered fairly low down on my expertise list. It's right below "building a rocket from pubes" on the expertise list.

3. i met noel gallagher - Yep, so did I. Leave a comment next time and we'll compare stories.

4. nose and eatingwoman - I have no idea what this really means. And I didn't leave out a space, the person doing the search did.

5. batman beats of rage mod - I personally think that someone had a fit whilst typing this into Google. It doesn't make sense. At all. Anyone care to enlighten me?

6. why doesn't paul weller speak to bruce foxton - He just doesn't ok. Let's just leave it at that.

7. photo german beating up irishman - I wonder if the person actually found this? What have the Germans got against the Irish? Unless they thought he was English?

8. larges hairy ass - I don't know who larges is, but I'm guessing that he/she has a hairy ass.

9. wetting knickers blogs - This is my favorite. Really. Who on earth writes blogs about people wetting their pants?! Mind you, there's obviously a market for it. No wet knickers here though, I can assure you. And I double checked too.

I also got told the other day via email that someone "stumbled" across my blog. Funny really, considering that I knew this person had been looking at my blog for some time. In fact, they already knew where it was when it was called allmodconsonvideo. I may be many things, but I'm not totally stupid. A little bit, but not totally. The wonders of IP addresses and stat counters eh! No longer on BT, but blueyonder...I'll have to make a note to tell the Viking, I'm sure they'll be along there at some point, if not already. I'm no longer bothered by it all, just sadly amused.

I also have a visitor this weekend, which I'm very much looking forward to. I have to plan "Things to do" if it's sunny. And have another plan if it's raining. Knowing my luck, it'll do both. At the same time.

...just realised, that would mean there's a rainbow! We could go hunting Leprechauns and pots of gold!


Mandy said...

So now people looking for Leprechauns will find AMC. Tho' they are probably harmless, compared to some of the others.
Maybe there's some sort of default system on pointing searchers in any random direction, like a switchboard operator putting odd calls through to any old extension, just to get rid of them?

The Author Of This said...

Mandy - That theory works for me. Makes total sense. I want to see "Smack the Pony, Hedgehog Party" come up on my stats.

PG said...

I love the internet for the same reasons. I have no idea how we survived without it. Mind you, I've been using the internet since around 1991. I used to tie up our phone line and use a dial up connection on a 1200 baud modem.

Those are some pretty unique search terms. Sometimes I feel like inserting random outbursts to see how the stats respond. But, I've made my blog unavaible on search engines.

Anonymous said...

You're also the cause of other people getting weird hits. In the last few days I've had two hits with the search words ""
Thanks. (I guess.)

Anonymous said...

Yeah... speaking from experience, if I were you I'd leave the Leprechauns alone, vicious little fuckers. They're pretty possessive of their pots of gold as well.


Anonymous said...

I found you with the search "my neighbours suck"

Anonymous said...

I did indeed stumble across your blog.. I'm not trying to hide that fact, I'm well aware you are watching everyone who visits, hehe. It would be nice of you to respond to my e-mail rather than bitch about me on your blog though, I thought you were above that ;)

Hope you're well,

ted said...

AMC...this thing cracked me up. What is with people!?!?!

It's been awhile since I check in and I'm glad I did. still waiting for you to come to toronto so I can sort you out for the pizza and


The Author Of This said...

Some Canadian has searched for "Hedgehog Party, Smack The Pony". Whoever you are, nice one! Really made me chuckle! I may just take a screen shot of that.

Anonymous said...

I found you looking for